Thursday, 16 August 2012

Some Events that Weren't in the Olympics

1.      Competitive eating for hobbits. The winner being the one who can eat the most and still have enough strength left to make it to the handily placed volcano at the end of the course.

2.      Goblin Dire Wolf Dressage. Because horses aren’t the only creatures that can learn to do this sort of thing. Though their version doesn’t include taking large bites out of specially positioned elves, for some reason.

3.      The ten foot pole and vault. Where the competitors have to get into a vault using nothing more than those handy ten foot poles they carry around everywhere.

4.      Barbarian gymnastics. Including such apparatus as the twenty foot hole with spikes, the bar room chandelier and the conveniently ivy clad wall.

5.      Sword from stone pulling. Rather a limited one, given that only rightful kings can compete, but great fun as they try to overcome different strengths of super glue on the day.

6.      Thief to wall knife throwing. The goal being to pin the official games’ pickpockets to the handily placed walls by their sleeves within the time limit. A fairly easy one, given all the improbable things fantasy types seem to be able to do with thrown knives.


David Jace said...

I think I might actually watch 4 and 6. Well done, as always, Stu!

Susan Kane said...

You know, if those had been the events, I would have been glued to the TV. As it was, it was all hit or miss for me.