You know how you have flower fairies, each exhibiting characteristics appropriate to particular flowers? (And here I must thank Sir Terry Pratchett for the existence of Nanny Ogg and that wonderful name for a flower fairy, Fairy Hedgehog). Well, why can’t there be fairies of other things?
1. Brick fairies. As in ‘Ho there, Fairy Breezeblock!’ Probably not very good at flying.
2. Kitchen fairies. After all, we know about the washing up liquid one, so why wouldn’t there be yellow, explosive ones of powdered custard, or slightly frazzled looking microwave fairies?
3. Stationary fairies. Otherwise known as the little buggers who steal all the paperclips when no one’s looking.
4. Shed fairies. Logically, if they live in the garden, at some point, specialised fairy forms are going to evolve to deal with sheds. They’re probably the reason hosepipes get so tangled.
5. Electronic gadget fairies. Currently at war with the gremlins who stop them working.
6. Sock gnomes. Technically not fairies, but nonetheless irritating, as they take hosiery in an effort to distil potent alcohol through it. No, I don’t know how either.