Monday, 7 March 2011

Catch Me If You Can Blogfest

I haven't done many blogfests recently, but since this one doesn't require anything new, it's quite an easy one to get involved with. Here's the start of my WIP.

Brian Northington was in the local library. Given that he was a sixteen-year-old boy, that is a fact that might take some explaining. After all, it was an age at which the young men of Nether Wrexford generally engaged in the more traditional pursuits of hanging around on street corners, trying to acquire alcohol to which they were not entitled, and utterly failing to attract the attentions of the sixth formers from St Mary’s School for Girls down the road.

They did not spend their time in libraries. Or if they did, they at least pretended that they had gotten lost on their way to a party somewhere. Brian, however, clearly hadn’t heard about this, because he was currently ambling his way through the place’s shelves, his jeans and hooded top attracting some muted glares of mistrust until the library staff recognised his dark tangle of hair and slightly gangly good looks as familiar.

He had become a regular in the Nether Wrexford library for two reasons. The first was that it got him out of a house where shouting at him seemed to be the preferred method of communication, and where his elder sister Claire was currently crowing about her A-level results to truly unbearable levels. That they would be enough to get her into Oxford to study law was admirable enough in its way, Brian felt, but not really a reason to remind him of the fact every five minutes. Brian’s parents occasionally accused him of not thinking enough about what he wanted to do with his life, but if the alternative was Claire, with a complete life plan that almost certainly ended in world domination, Brian felt he was better off as he was.

The second, and rather more important, reason Brian was in the library came in the form of the noted early twentieth century reptile expert Sir Archibald Mathers. Or at least, in the form of the collection he had bequeathed to the place. Having Mathers’ actual form there would have posed something of a problem, given that it had last been sighted twenty years previously, inside a crocodile he had been studying on the banks of the Nile.

14 comments:

Debra Ann Elliott said...

Stopping by from CMIUC...
I would read this, but I would love more showing than telling.

KO: The Insect Collector said...

I love this. Great voice. Very clever without being overdone.

thanks for sharing

Holly Jones said...

Boys hanging out at the school gates, I remember that. Of course I was busy studying in the libary ;)

Love the last paragraph and his second reason for being there. Makes me wonder why he was so interested in Mathers.

Thanks for having a look at my entry and for your comment :)

Heidi Windmiller said...

Great voice! I really enjoy texts where the third person narrator has a voice separate from the main character's voice, and you did this very well.

That said--I found the narrator's voice very negative--perhaps because of the narrator's negative view of young adult males that was the focus of the first two paragraphs. I didn't necessarily find this a bad thing, but I wasn't sure if it was the impression you intended for the reader to have.

I would certainly keep reading. Great sense of humor!

franklycreative said...

Some nice ideas, but I would like to see more dialog and action, less narrative.
Thanks for your comments on mine, they helped.

dawnall said...

Great strong verbs and a great voice. This story is definitely one that would cause me to turn the pages.

Melissa Dean said...

Love the description and I would keep reading.

J.C. Martin said...

I love the witty voice in this. There is great humour in your writing, and I would definitely read more! Hopefully the rest of the story is more show than tell?

Heather M. Gardner said...

I like this. I like your style and your language. I would keep reading.
HMG

Jodi Henry said...

The voice is strong in this. I would like to see more show than tell. Maybe some dialogue to get things moving along.

Thanks for the comments on mine.

J

Tessa Conte said...

LOL I love Brian! I'm soooo going to buy this book when you get it published.

Marie Rearden said...

I like this. There's no real conflict, but I find myself hooked to figure out the deal with the crocodiling. :) Your descriptions are excellent. Keep going!

Marie, http://marierearden.blogspot.com

Kristina Fugate said...

There's some very witty stuff here. I found myself chuckling a couple of times. I love this voice.

I only wish, like the others have said, that there was more showing and action. I'd love to see a little more tension.

But otherwise, this is great. Very well written.

Thanks for sharing :)

Susan Kane said...

I agree with Kristina. You have a strong voice, but Brian's character is hidden in all the language. He needs to show the reader who he is and what intrigues him. Share his thoughts with the reader.
Great possibilities, and strong writing.