Thursday, 18 November 2010

Magical Items the Other Way

Has it really been more than a week since I last posted? Still, as a way back into things, ten magical items that assorted heroes might find at some point. You might recognise a few as favourites of mine:

  1. A sword of general light entertainment. Like role playing's traditional dancing sword, but with a wider skill set.
  2. Gaffer tape of healing. Because Gaffer tape can fix anything.
  3. A drunken sat nav. Because you've got to find that lost city somehow.
  4. A sword of extreme bluntness. What happens to the average vorpal sword after the health and safety people have been in.
  5. A box of random reorganisation. These actually exist. Usually as filing cabinets.
  6. Infinite String. Because some string wants to be longer than the official 31.5cm answer to a pointless question.
  7. A shield of shielding. All right, technically just a shield...
  8. Spectacles of continuous accountancy. This may count as a cursed item, or might just be the only way the average barbarian thief is going to keep track of his or her finances.
  9. The badge of minion making. Before it's attached, they're happy, normal people. Afterwards, they're grumpy, slack jawed and inclined to obey orders with stupid literal mindedness. May be used in our world by certain coffee chains.
  10. A ten foot pole of... well, you tell me what all those ten foot poles are for. There must be some point to them.
Any ideas for other ones? Any that you would particularly like to see included in a story at some point? Any traditional fantasy magical items that have always struck you as annoying and/or silly?

4 comments:

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

This was so cool, Stu: I can always count on you to make me smile. Especially as I'm off to get 6 stitches taken out of my finger. Not looking forward to it. Maybe if I had a ten foot pole?

Summer Ross said...

Until you posted this I hadn't paid much attention.

I find your list humorous. LOl specially the shield.

I think port items should be included somewhere- because that was a brilliant idea. :)

Lauren said...

Great list. I love the "Box of Random Reorganization" :)

Cinette said...

Love the post; you have an interesting take on things:0)