Tuesday, 19 October 2010

A Memo

Memo from the desk of P.Edgeborough (This has always confused me. Why is my furniture supposed to be sending you things? A blotter of constant communication, yes, but not a desk.)

to B. Northington.

Hello, young Brian. Just a quick to-do list while Spider and I are away at the annual Dungeon Excavation And Design of the Last Year conference. I understand that Spider has left you a rather longer not-to-do-under-any-circumstances list. Please follow every point except the last. I feel that "don't move. Don't even breathe" is perhaps a little harsh.


  1. Remember to spread out fresh newspapers every morning for the Sphinx we currently have in. It gets through the crosswords rather quickly.
  2. We seem to be running short on tea. Ordinarily, I would ask you to pop over to the tea fields of Oolong-Grey for some more, but Spider has suggested that a trip to the shops will do just as well. There is money in the nearly bottomless purse (assuming the bottom hasn't fallen out again).
  3. If you could possibly give those twenty crates of spinning blade traps a quick polish, that would be wonderful. I imagine if you put a chamois in one spot and just set them going, they should be done in double quick time.
  4. I had a note from one of our customers complaining that a couple of the rings of power have developed a slight fault. Could you please try them and see if any give you the urge to go on about your birthday. For any that do, there is a small portable volcano in the back room.

Thankyou. Peter. (P.S. in the event of an emergency, both Spider and myself should be easy to contact at the conference. I will be hosting the seminar on "Dungeon Design: Pointy Spike and Non-Pointy Spike Paradigms". Spider has indicated that she will be in the bar.)


Summer Ross said...

Oh this was fun- where did you come up with the idea for this? LOL

stu said...

Well, there are two options here:

The first is that I found a big stack of assorted paperwork in a big, wooden bound chest somewhere, and will be putting up bits of it as it amuses me to.

The second is that this is just building on the YA novel built around one of my short stories that I have just finished.

Donna Hole said...

Way funny dude. If this is a product of your short stories, then they are indeed interesting :)