Wednesday, 29 September 2010

England's Camping Trip

The England cricket team is back from its bonding session overseas, which seems to have involved the usual combination of adventure sports, camping, and spending the better part of a week in each others' company with no distractions. News of this has prompted me to ask some important questions:

  1. Do these blokes not see enough of each other anyway? With the crowded international calendar, 'Team England' spends most of its time on the road anyway. Kevin Peterson probably spends more time with Paul Collingwood than with his family. He certainly spends more time with him than with his county colleagues.
  2. Have none of them watched any horror movies? Does the England management not know that it is exactly this sort of expedition that vastly increases your risk of zombie attack?
  3. Monty Panesar. Doing adventure sports. Does this strike anyone else as a bad combination?
  4. Isn't it generally true that every sports team contains at least one person you don't like as much as the others? (often, for some inexplicable reason, me). Is sharing a tent with them a better recipe for A: harmony, or B: murder?
  5. Does the act of putting up tents increase cricketing performance? If so, should I be off down my local camping store now, in the off season, to beat the rush?
  6. In fact, wouldn't it be truest to say that the most team building element of the whole trip did not involve camping, or physical fitness, or worthy trips to put cricket into perspective, but was in fact that moment (probably on about day two) when they all snuck out together in search of a drink, a roof that wasn't canvas, and a phone with which to call home?


Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

I especially liked the idea of zombies lurking - perhaps you could write a novella about cricketers and an ill-fated camping/bonding trip.

Tessa Conte said...

Jeez you crack me up, you do. Zombies in the wilderness...LOL.

You forgot the imminent danger of the entire team returning as werewolves and thus being unable to play the day before, during and the day after the full moon.