Thursday, 17 July 2008

Not Playing Fayre

In the absence of anything much to blog about, or at least of the energy to do it properly, I thought I'd 'treat' you to a random piece of poetry. Between this being the proper season for village fetes, Dwain Chambers trying to overturn his British Olympic Association lifetime ban for using performance enhancing drugs, and Mohammed Asif getting caught using them, it seemed like an appropriate bit of fun.

Not Playing Fayre

We’re going to win the medals
This year, we’re going to beat
The others at our village fete
Because we’re going to cheat

We’ve rigged the egg and spoon race
By gluing down our eggs
And as for the three-legged race
We’re using two false legs

The ferret run’s been nobbled
To make our ferret win
We’ve sealed off all the other holes
In the ferret bin

The Morris troupe’s on steroids
The sack race PCP
And so the judge won’t notice
There’s mushrooms in her tea

We’ve blackmailed other judges
With details from their pasts
We’ve spent too many bloody years
Coming close to last

I know this might seem crazy
Twisted and perverse
Trust me, others at the fayre
Are doing much, much worse.

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